My Forever
by sweet-and-simple
Summary: What happens years down the road, when life has begun anew? In this new life of theirs, will Lee and Gaara remember the love they had had for each other in their past lives? Short summary, but it's the best I can do with the short space I have.
1. Why do I dream of him?

There are a few different things that inspired this idea…mostly boredom and time. I've been thinking…years down the road, when life is begun anew…what would Lee remember? What would Gaara remember? Let's think of it this way: The life of shinobi are tales told by the old woman at the fireplace, and their present is…well, our present; but there are still those who retain what they had once been.

* * *

_It always begins the same way… a gentle caress that runs from my ankle to my knee; hot breath that blows across my abdomen. And I always say the same thing…_

"_More…please, Gaara!…More." And while I am pleading, my head twisting from side to side as I experience the familiar spiral down into insanity, my vision is filled by the color of red: his hair, wild, bloody, and thick. Always, I would hear this:_

"_Do you love me?" _

_I could feel the pain that stabbed into my heart every time that question was asked of me; he should not have to question my love for him, we have been together for years. Yet, some wounds do not seem to ever heal completely, so I comfort him as I know his family should have when he had been young. They had been too late, but I would not be…_

"_Always, forever…and even pass death!" I throw my head back, feeling every breath of air I stole into my lungs burn my throat. I turned my face into my arm, both of them bound above my head by my lover's sand. "I swear it…or I shall rip my own heart out of chest…" Here is where I sob, tilting my hips towards him, silently begging for him to touch me in the place he had been pointedly ignoring. "Because you __**are**__ my heart…and I can not live if I knew I lived without you!"_

_Those hands, pale and grainy, trace down the scars of my sides, one of them coming to a stop at my weeping erection, shamelessly pointing towards me, the other moving to my lips with the silent command for me to suck. One long digit whispers across the heated skin of my member, and this is when I begin to plead in abandon, moaning around the fingers that I was lubricating. I rotated my hips wantonly against his own. And before one of those pale hands fully wrap around my erection, I meet his eyes…his beautiful, sorrowful, sea-blue eyes… He takes his fingers from me, and I feel them begin to probe at the crease between my cheeks as he replaces them with his lips. I taste him, his scent flooring me and his tongue thrusting in time with his hands. When I feel the need to scream, he releases me altogether, leaning back and looking down at me. I always wonder…what did I look like in that moment?_

"_My Lee…" _

_Just as always, I would smile, my mouth opening to say words that would reassure him of such. "No one -"_

'**And it is 5:30 in the morning, it looks like we could have a little sun today, but I doubt it; don't you, Aki?'**

'**Sure do, Honoa. We have temperature in the forties today with a wind chill of -'**

I press down on the 'snooze' button on my radio alarm, my eyes wide open and unblinking as I thought again of my reoccurring dream… Was that not the weirdest way in which to dream? No matter how often I try to figure it out…I cannot think of a reason why my gym partner continues to show in my dreams. Especially in such…erotic ways…

Groaning, I turn my head into my pillow, holding it to my chest as I curl my knees into it. It is worse, that I have been dreaming of him before he even transferred to my school from the Suna district…

Why does my heart ache every time I am done dreaming? Where have my childish fantasies gone from? The ones where I would be riding a turtle's back across the sea, or be friends to a large red fox and a golden colored raccoon…albeit that last one was strange…

Sighing, I throw my pillow back onto my bed as I stand, rubbing furiously at my eyes to try and clear them of the dream. I almost wish I do not have school today… I do not think Coach Gai is going to be very happy with me…

* * *

Would you like to know something sad? This was supposed to be a one-shot. Maybe this means I got over my writers-block! Maybe it means I am giving all of you false hope…I am hooting for the first choice. Tell me how it made you feel and if it is worth continuing, if this magical streak of geniusness continues, another chapter should be up within a few days; possibly a few hours, but do not hope too much for that.


	2. Why does he look at me so?

I wanted to get the idea out before it left me; even if you did not wish for it, this is the second chapter of 'My Forever'. Try and guess which point of view this one is in.

* * *

_He strokes my hair out of my face, his sea-blue eyes cautious, but no longer sad. I lift my hands from the limp sand to return the caress, drifting my fingers from the scar on his forehead to his beating heart. I love him…so much, it does hurt sometimes. Yet, I always forget the small details every time I open my eyes… _

_He leans forward, pressing his lips against mine, as if he is trying to devour me, and I let him. If he took me into himself, if he were to love me fully and as he wished, learn that there are no boundaries, maybe he would finally understand that I would never leave him, would always love him. Until then, I am content to let him into my body, and into my heart, step out of my own boundaries to drag him out of his own. Someday, it will have to occur to him that I will never leave him be, alone as he had once been. There is too much for us to catch up on with what he has missed. _

_He leans away for only a moment, his lips teasing against my cheek before he whispers into my ear._

"_Lee…"_

_I smile, laughing somewhat. Why, I do not know. I push my body till I am leaning up, wrapping one arm around his neck and pulling him back to my lips. I cannot stop myself from gently dragging my nails over the last marks I had made on his formerly unmarked skin. Sometimes, it is hard to believe how much he trusts me. He allows me to do what he had never allowed another: to hurt him. I wish I would not do such a thing, but… our lovemaking always overwhelms me, and I cannot control myself. I am fortunate, that he does not mind as he once had. He almost seems to enjoy it, but that is alright. I love everything he does to me, so the reverse is pleasing as well._

"_Lee…"_

_I burrow my face into his shoulder, tangling my other hand into his red locks. I am always caught off guard by how much he gives me, how much he loves me. He has never said as much, but I do not need his words, I know by how he shows me._

"_Lee."_

_I pull back, somewhat surprised by the pain I was feeling in the back of my head, as if he had hit me… How strange, he only does that when we are in a meeting, or I have done something that angers him deeply-_

_His eyes are cold as they glare down at me. He is no longer on me, but sitting beside me. His hair is longer than I remember, and he is…buffer, as well. I do not remember him being taller than myself, but that is what it looks like… He scowls at me, making me blink in confusion. What is going on?-_

I feel the hot-red blush that has enveloped my face as my head shoots up from where I had been resting it against the conveniently placed crate on the stands pulled out in the gym. I cannot believe I had fallen asleep in my favorite class!…With my most special teacher watching! Ashamed, I bow my head in apology. Coach Gai shakes his head, and I feel the blush become hotter, before he turns back to the rest of the snickering class and tells them to pull it together. He continues on with his speech of youth and never giving up.

I look out of the corner of my eye, studying my gym partner_. _Could he honestly be as warm and gentle as the Gaara I dream of? I doubt that… Does he know? I doubt that as well. But…

I stop breathing as he meets my stare out of the corner of his own, and then kept it. I was sucked into his eyes, so familiar to the ones that had just been warm on my soul before I had woken up… But I did not feel as if I were loved such as the Gaara in my dreams had made me feel… He sneers at me, his eyes becoming even colder upon me than usual.

"Lee!" I snap back around.

"Yes, Coach Gai!?"

"Show these newly arrived youths the meaning of a mile a minute!"

"Yes, Coach Gai!" As always, we air-five each other, and I stand from my bench to job down the stairs onto the floor. I only look back at the redhead once. One day, I shall discover why he looks at me with such rage and…is that _betrayal?_

* * *

Hmm… It took me three tries before I finally got it somewhat close to what I wanted to do… I really wanted to do it in Gaara's Point Of View, but it never came out right. So, this is chapter two, and is only slightly longer than chapter one. I will have to try and make a longer chapter eventually. Tell me how it makes you feel.


	3. Does he know how he betrayed me?

Wow… I am on a roll today… so, if I'm lucky, this will be in Gaara's point of view. If not, I am sorry for your luck…and my own *crawls into emo corner* Why can I not do this right? Also, I can only hope that this will be as long (at most, just a little longer than so) than two pages.

* * *

Why had he been smiling?

Sitting in my history class, one hour after having waken Lee up from his rest, I ponder on this question. Not only had he been smiling, his face turned towards me, I had heard him laugh. What had he been dreaming about that had been so pleasant? It's possible that he may finally be reliving our past. Clearly, he has not reached the point I have:

_I clawed at the ripped spandex on my lover's chest. No, this was just…impossible. He had promised, he had sworn that he would never leave me alone. Yet, here he was, dead by a will not my own._

"_You liar." I hiss at him, looking down into his deathly pale face. His dim, blank eyes stared unblinkingly into mine. "You promised you would be mine for always!" I shoved my face into his blood soaked shoulder, my hands gripping at him blindly, trying to rouse him back to life. This was not possible. _

"_Gaara…" My gaze snapped up to my sister's, and I feel myself finally breaking. Anger begins to flow away, leaving me cold and desolate._

"_Temari, bring me a healer."_

_My sister began to shake her head slowly, and then shook it furiously. "He's dead, Gaara."_

"_Then we'll bring him back!"_

_My sister became paler from my outburst, but I could not bring myself to care. I snarled at her, furious that she wasn't doing as I told her. And then she became furious._

"_Who do you want to die for him!? You know someone is going to have to die to bring him back!"_

"_**I** will die for him!"_

_She flinches, falling to her knees as she stared at me with a stricken expression. The silence lasted so long between us, I turned away from her. I focused on the man in my arms instead. My village needed me, and I now had friends who I depended upon and who depended upon me. But there was only one of him. Damn it, I wasn't the person who could rise above something such as this! He knew that, he knew his death would kill me, but he still died anyway…and he died for me._

_Had I seen that last male breaking through my barrier, his water jutsu overpowering my sand, Lee would not be lying here. He would be laughing in victory, giving me that damn 'good guy pose' that I had threatened him not to do. I would kill if it meant that he would stop lying there to stand up and do just that. I would die, if that meant his last words would no longer echo through my mind:_

'_I will love you for always, G-Gaara… but, you have to live…without me…' His smile, blood leaking out of the corner of his mouth as his eyes began to die. Nothing I knew of healing could save him, why had I not been able to save him? 'I will…be with you…again…' _

_Why did he die, right after those words? If he had had enough strength to speak nonsense, than he should have had enough strength to stay alive until help had arrived, or until I had had enough chakra to take us to help. Why did he die with such a foolish statement? There would be no other life for us… Because no other power would be kind enough to let me have him again. Something rips in the background, and then becomes a constant sound. _

_As I bow my head over his, clutching him to me to try and calm the shaking of my own body, I do not pay attention to Temari's words, already knowing what she was saying, and already knowing she was right. Too many people were depending on me, and it had been Lee's last wish for me to live. He threw his life away for me, he died in my arms knowing I could not die with him, and I cannot think of any betrayal he could have made that would tear me apart as terribly as this does._

"Gaara, please pay attention. This is on the test."

I snap my gaze towards the white-wash board at front, the white-haired teacher staring at me with boredom. I hate this teacher… I cannot terrify him as I do with the other adults in this boilding. Eventually, he stops the staring contest to continue class; I know he is not submitting, he is just thinking that it was as stupid a thing to do as I do. Damn Kakashi for not changing at all, he still has that porn book on him too.

The moment we're not glaring at each other any longer, I am looking out of the window. We both know I won't fail this class, even if I didn't come to class from day one to the last, I would pass it with ease. He just doesn't like it when I ignore him…

What the _hell_ is Kimimaro doing? I shoot up from my desk, grabbing my book bag more as second thought than anything else. I am Sabaku no Gaara, and I sure as hell don't run from anything, or to anything. I take my damn time. Behind me, Kakashi is going on as if I had not just ran out of his class, as if the door had not been nearly ripped off it's hinges by the anger in which I shoved it open.

As my fury grows, so does my speed. I am Sabaku no Gaara, and I am not running. Damn it, I'm speeding, because going slow is not going to save Lee.

I hate him for breaking his promise to me. I hate him for leaving me alone for the last three years of my life, every one of them as miserable as a nightmare. But I refuse to lose him again before he even knows why I hate him. He cannot do the same stupid thing as before.

Damn it, Kimimaro, how dare you repeat history. He isn't going to leave until he is mine again, and I'll make sure of that if I have to finish this memory that you have begun. If anyone changes history, it's me.

* * *

Neh, it went better in my head, but I'm still proud. If you can think of something to say, I think I can think of something to say in reply.


	4. How did this happen?

Here is chapter four, and I have no idea how it is going to go. I will be winging it, with only an idea for the beginning. Shall we see what Kimimaro was doing to upset Gaara so? How is Lee doing during all of this?

* * *

As I crash into the ground, dark spots dance before my eyes. It was becoming more difficult to focus on my attacker, or to even defend myself. I cannot believe that I had let down my guard enough that someone else had managed to catch me in my back!

Wheezing, I turn my body around to look up to who had attacked me. Who would attack another student on school grounds!?-…

"Kimimaro…" Dread fills me entirely. I do not know why the other fills me with such resentment… aside from the attack on me just now; he has never done such a thing before, I do not know why he would at all.

The white-haired boy merely looks down at me. It reminds me of the way my science teacher looked down upon a frog he had been dissecting for us… and that had not been with sorrow. He tosses the pipe he must have hit me with over one shoulder, tilting his head as if he were considering something. As he does that, I attempt to stand back up, confused but unwilling to take this lying down…literally.

'Whack!'

I crashed back onto the ground, clutching at my leg while biting on my tongue to stop from crying out in pain. He places the pipe back over his shoulder. As it occurs to me, after the third strike, that he does not want me to move, I become angry. The fourth time, I grab the pipe as it swings down towards me, looking to taller boy furiously.

"Why are you hitting me!?"

I was forced to release the pipe to clutch at my side, breath gasping in and out as I tried _not _to curl in on myself. He placed his leg back where it had been, his expression not changing once. After a longer moment of silence, he bent down, looming over me with his uncaring face.

"I want to see if the same thing that happened in my dream will happen again… Sadly, you must suffer for it."

The words were punctuated by a sharp 'Thwack!' as the pipe connected with the same spot his foot had a little while ago. I am able to muffle my scream, but I cannot stop the whimper. This is just…ridiculous! I refuse to lie down for all of this. Despite the pipe that cracks down on my back, I force myself to a position where I can kick my leg out from under me and trip him. It does not work entirely, but it gives me enough time to stand and back away.

"If my dreams were to come true…" That was the wrong thing for me to say, I realize, feeling the familiar hot blush come over my face. If my dreams came true…that would need some explanation and maybe some therapy; Gaara would never do as was done in my dreams... I shake the thought away, looking to the other with the anger I felt. "It was cowardly to attack me from behind! Had you wanted to fight me, than you could have asked me!"

Before I was even done talking, Kimimaro was shaking his head, as if I were speaking foolishly. Had I not been trained by Coach Gai to only attack to defend, I would have jumped on him then. "I don't want to fight you. You're hardly a strong enough opponent."

Now more confused than anything else, I practically yell at him. "So why would you attack me!? If I am not the one you wish to fight, than why come after me?"

But he is no longer looking at me, his gaze somewhere behind me. "Gaara."

I blink, and then make the largest mistake anyone could have ever made: I turned my back on the enemy. Just as I see the redhead there, I also feel something reminiscent to an explosion in my head. A moment after the feeling, just becoming aware of being on the ground again for some reason, I hear the 'crack!' of Kimimaro's pipe. What is going…

* * *

"_Gaara, where are you going?" I asked, leaning forward in the pristine white bed to stare at him earnestly. I knew where he was going… I just wished he would not go._

"_I must speak to your kage about the attack. We will have to discuss a counter-attack…" He eyed me from where he stood next to the wooden door leading out the room. "You know that." But he did not leave, but stood there for a long moment._

_As the silence became too thick, I forced myself to smile. "Yosh!" I gave him my 'good guy pose' from where I sat. "May your two great minds come together to think of a great defense of our two great nations!…" With his glare, my 'disguise' fell down, leaving me staring solemnly down at the white covers covering me from lap to feet. I picked at it with un-bandaged fingers, unable to think of anything else to say._

_I feel him come closer, but I do not look up, just in case he sees the sadness within my eyes. The bed dips under his weight. "Lee…look at me." I refuse to do so, twirling the un-bandaged fingers of my other hand against the metal frame of the bed. Hardly a minute goes by before his patience is thin enough that he jerks my face up towards his own, and then crashes our lips together._

_I moan, instantly wrapping both arms around his shoulders and pulling him closer. Seconds pass, and then he nips at my bottom lip; a question for entrance, but I know that even my denial could not have stopped him… though I hardly do ever say no, and I do not this time. We battle, tongues slipping against the other's, lips meshing together before backing away only a very short distance just to come back together. When he pulls away abruptly, I meet his eyes by a need stronger than my modesty-_

_And now he looks at me with an almost rage as he grips my arm tightly. "Why do you look scared?" He asked harshly._

_I turn my face away in shame, unwilling to admit to what was wrong, I tried a different tactic. "You must meet Hokage-sama in only a few short minutes, Gaara. You should leave now in order to make it in time-"_

"_**Why **__do you looked scared?" I flinched, but then sigh in defeat._

_I was very well aware of how long Gaara could hold a grudge. "I…do not like being alone in a hospital."_

_He leans away from me, giving me the look I recognize well. It is the one that silently says: 'That is just stupid.' I fly to my own defense._

"_It is not stupid! Everything is so white and sterile! There is no life or enjoyment to be found here. Gaara, I have been lying in this bed for nearly two weeks now! Two weeks! I am losing my mind!"_

_Had my youthful lover had eyebrows, they would have been quirked at me. "No life…in a hospital. I am sure that most people come here to die, Lee."_

_I groan, putting one hand over my eyes and rubbing them. "No, they come here to get better. But I am completely healthy! I hardly need to be stuck on this bed! I have not exercised in two days-"_

"_And you wonder why you're still here?"_

"_-And then Sakura-kun had Ino-san bind me here with maiden hair strengthened by her chakra! I would not be surprised if my ankle suddenly fell off!-_

"_You should know better than to try and escape."_

"_-and why will you not see this from my point of view?" And then I slump onto the bed. "It is something silly to get so depressed over, especially with what I have been through." I admit in a small voice. "But it does bother me… I am sure not everyone knows the name of every healing-nin and nurse on staff at any hour in two different hospitals. But I do…" I sigh, running one hand through my hair. "I wish I were home."_

_Gaara and I sat there for a long moment, myself mentally punishing myself for whining in such a way. Gaara hardly needed to be bothered with my ramblings, he already has so many things he needs to do. I force myself to smile again, telling myself that if I could not get him to believe that I was alright, I would run 2 hundred laps from the borders of the wind country to it's hidden village; that, added to the 7 hundred laps I would be doing around Sunagakure on my hands going backwards for blabbering in such a way, might be enough punishment…if I could get off of this bed._

_I look up sharply as Gaara moves away from my bedside, his face blank as he leaves me and walks out the door. Mentally, I tell myself that I must do the 2 hundred laps, even as I lie fully back on the hospital bed. Around my ankle, the maiden hair seems to pulse, as if warning me not to move too much. I look sadly out of the window… I was here so often, I had a room reserved for me. That does not help my mood…_

_A nurse walks into the room, looking as grumpy as I feel. I watch on in confusion as she breaks the maiden hair and then begins muttering to me about what I had to do and how much time I was allowed out of bed. Another woman walked in soon after, speaking about how she would be escorting me to my home because my husband did not have the time. _

_It was somewhere around ten minutes later when there was a pause long enough between the two for me to ask the only question I could think of._

"_Pardon me, but what are you two talking about?" The first one growled at me, and the other giggled. Feeling a familiar spike of chakra, I turn my head to look at the pink-haired healing-nin at the door._

_Sakura-kun attempted to look angry, though I knew she was smiling. "Since we're in Suna, we fall under the rules of your hubby." I blush at her words and the obvious tease behind them as she continues on. "And he wants you to be taken home for the last bit of your healing."_

_As I sat there in awe, surprised that someone would do such a thing for me, Sakura-kun raised an enquiring eyebrow at me. "Why would that be, Lee?"_

_I smile, feeling warm everywhere. "Because, I wanted to go home."…_

There was a constant throbbing from somewhere, sounding like drums through my head. I turn my head and burrow it into an incredibly hard pillow, only to have the throbbing follow me. I groan in pain, lifting one hand from where it had tangled in the pillow case to rub at my pounding temple. Why did it feel as if something went off inside of my head-

…I open my eyes slowly, not wishing to see the white walls that would most likely be surrounding me. I do not remember their pillows being so hard, but I do not think I could be anywhere but the hospital or the nurse's office. Upon fully opening my eyes, I blink continuously in confusion. The walls opposite me is golden-sand color, a red desk piled neatly with books and papers pushed against it. I rub harder at my temple, deeply upset with this. Where could I be…?… Is my pillow…_breathing_!?

A new wave of pain echoes through my head as I propel myself backwards away from my supposed 'pillow'. I grip at the back of my head and hiss in distress. All at once, I forget the discomfort, caught in the disbelief of _who_ had been my 'headrest'. I take another careful look around the room, taking in all of the sand, red, and black colors, before looking back to the redhead who had begun to stir. Why was I in Gaara's bed? I would assume that this is Gaara's room, since this is most _definitely_ not a hospital…and not my apartment room either.

Abruptly, he opens his sea-blue eyes, just as I was gazing upon his face, and I am his captive as I am every time we meet stares. I do not know if I am breathing in that moment, but I know my heart is beating by just how loud it was being. He keeps my gaze as he sits up from an actual pillow and braces himself on his arms. I want to blink, bewildered by the lack of coldness in his eyes, but that would be impossible until he looks away.

Unanticipated, he reaches towards me and touches his fingertips against the wrist of the hand still covering the back of my head.

"Your head?" Numbly, I nod; and then it all comes onto me at once: _I _should be the once asking questions.

"Where am I? Why are you here? Why am I not at the hospital?" A sudden thought occurs to me. "What happened to Kimimaro?"

Finally, he scowls, becoming alike to the Gaara I know in school. He jerks his hand away as if I had burned him and stands from the bed, releasing my gaze at once. Finally with the will to do so, I blink, disgruntled by his actions.

"_You_ don't like hospitals… So I didn't let them take you there. My family has enough financial pull that there wasn't much they could say to it."

Alarmed, it takes me a full minute to reply. "How do you know I do not like hospitals!?" There is no way possible that he could know that. No one knew that I did not like hospitals, all of my friends and even Coach Gai had begun joking about how I should rent a room there and live in the hospital. How did someone who did not even act like they cared know what no one else knew?

He turns to me slowly, a dangerous feeling seeming to seep off of him, as if my words had somehow angered him. "Because" He spat out, suddenly there before me, hands planted on the bed as he glared directly into my own eyes, freezing me once again. "you told me, only a few days before _you_ _died on me_."

I imagine that I look like a fish out of water, what with my mouth gaping open and close and my eyes feeling as if they were about to pop out of my head. Shakily, I put both hands on my lap, and look _into_ his eyes for the first time. Always, I had seen a cold rage, and had left it at that. But…

"You have these dreams too…" Not a question, because I already knew it was true. He glared at me, such cold fury and hatred radiating from him, my skull felt as if it were about to split in two.

"Why did you die?" Gaara whispered harshly, his hands fisting on his bed covers. I could only stare dumbly back at him.

"I… do not know…" I thought of the Gaara in my dreams: warm and subtle, and then compared him to this Gaara before me: enraged and cold…so much like the Gaara I had first been introduced to before our intimacy had begun in my dreams. "Why are you so cold to me?"

* * *

How dare I skip out on the fight between Gaara and Kimimaro. But, honestly, you would be glad that I had if you had seen my two attempts at the small battle (notice, I am trying not to repeat myself and increase my vocabulary). You would have instantly lost faith in this story and ran off. I think it worked out just fine with how I did it. I cannot remember a time where I had been so suspenseful… hmm… Hey, look! A chapter longer than 3 pages! It is actually 3 ½ ! X3 I am proud of myself… Tell me what you think, would you?


	5. Why did this happen?

This time, I had an idea, and then it flew away. So, we both have no idea what is going to happen. Shall we find out?

* * *

He seemed to tremble for a moment, and I could only stare as he placed one knee on the bed and began to stalk me across the bed. Not once did he break gazes with me, and that is what frightened me the most; I could not run away…not saying I could have anyway, what with the migraine and the now-painful pulsing of my side; but the option would have been nice.

"Are you not listening to me?" He snaps at me, his face so still, it could have been made out of stone; only his eyes were alive…and I wish they would stop staring at me so. "You died. _On me_. Did you hear me that time?"

I did not say a word, disturbed and confused beyond expression. The pain in my head was increasing at a ridiculous rate, it almost seemed as if it had already split in two. I looked fixedly into his eyes, trying to see the memory through him. What I saw was terrifying, because all I could see was his desperation and pain.

"What are you talking about?" I massaged my scalp, trying to get the pain to go away; it was too the point my eyes were watering, and I _still _could not look away!

Abruptly, he smacked his fist down on the bed next to my thigh, an almost-snarl on his face, but not quite. "Where was our last stand?"

I slowly began to shake my head, perturbed beyond definition. The movement did not help my discomfort at all, but it seemed to be the only thing I could do…if I opened my mouth, I may throw up…

His eyes narrowed into my own, his fist uncurling slightly. "Where did we first make love?"

I want to demand why he would ask such a thing, shocked, but that did not happen. I merely looked into his eyes, and into my own memories. I stopped shaking my head, and took in a long, shuddering breath through my constricting lungs; my body relaxed just slightly.

For the first time since beginning this conversation, Gaara looked away, crawling backwards and slipping off the bed. He walked through a door I had not noticed before, something like rushing water sounding and a cabinet opening followed. I allowed my eyes to close, afflicted by both my own discomfort and his anguish. I died? Well, of course everyone dies… but I do not think I died of an illness or old age.

"_To grow old or ill is to say that you were weak or cowardice. To die by another's hand or poison is the shinobi way…"_

The sounds from the other room stop abruptly. A moment later, the bed dips again, but I keep my eyes closed. I had not bothered to look at my watch; is it daytime or night? I had not seen any sun filtered into the room… Then again, I had not bothered to look for sunlight, or even a window. How long had I been asleep? How long had I been asleep on _Gaara_?

Something cold was pressed against my forehead, causing me to hiss, before I lean into the contact. An acute point of thunder beats through my skull as the heat of my skin clashes with the ice of the glass, and then it is an irritating pulsing in the back of my head. I almost want to whimper with how it good it feels… and when the glass warms up to where it is no longer a comfort, I do make a noise of distress. It is rotated against my forehead, and the chill returns.

"Open your mouth."

I frown, unable to think of a reason why I would have to do that. Above that, after his earlier show of fury, I was not quite sure that that would be the safest thing to do, but I do so anyway.

"_Lee, open your mouth." _

_I hid further beneath the green sheets covering our bed, attempting to have a conversation with him without having him take advantage. _

"_But, Gaara! I am fine now! I hardly need the medicine, so please…take it away." I can _hear_ his exasperation. I know I am acting childish, but the medicine they are forcing on me tastes awfully much like the medicine Gai-Sensei instructed me to take whenever I was in dire situations. I was only lucky it did not cause the same thing… There are a few minutes of silence, and then:_

"_Lee… I will bind you with my sand, strap you to the floor, and then force-feed it to you in the most unpleasant way I can think of."_

_I consider it for a moment, and then concede. I may be well enough that I do not need the concoction, but I know I can not find Gaara off as I am right now. I would not put it pass Gaara to keep a threat…especially pass Gaara. I take a deep breath for manliness, and then lift the covers away from me. Keeping my eyes closed and body tense in wait for the pungent taste of my medicine, I open my mouth. I have not been trusted to hold my own medicine since I had accidentally shattered the last three bottles. It had honestly been an accident for every one of them! They all tasted so awful, I had just gripped them too hard…_

_I peek out of one eye, curious as to why it was not poured into my mouth, only to shoot both open in shock._

"_Gaara! You are not supposed to drink my medicine!"_

_There was a sour look on his face as he recapped the bottle, a look I could very well sympathize with. I reach out to him to pat his back, aware of just how painful this must have been for him._

_Before I realize it, his lips are pressing against mine, his eyes focused with consideration on my own wide-open ones. I open my mouth, not quite sure why, to only receive a very terrible surprise. Choking, I attempt to pull away, but he only pulls me closer. I am forced to sit there, my mouth open against his open mouth as he gives me my medicine in the most unsuspecting way. When I had swallowed every bit of it, he finally pulled away, and I leaned onto his shoulder, sputtering as it felt like bleach dripping down the back of my throat._

"_Your Kage calls that medicine?" I nodded. "I can see your distaste for it." I chuckle, and curled up where I was. It remained that way for 20 peaceful minutes…_

I swallowed the tasteless pills, and the glass was pushed insistently against my lips. Eagerly, I drink the water within, only stopping when it was taken away. Already, the hammering in my head dulls. Without opening my eyes, I manage to croak.

"Your mood wings… are beginning to disturb me…"

"Your memory loss…already has disturbed me… where were we married?"

"On the borders…between Konoha and Suna…on the full moon." I could remember, though the dream was fuzzy at best, what we had been wearing as well. We had decided upon a Shinto marriage.

"Who was the first person to try and kill you after our union?"

I blink almost lazily, looking at him with the disorientation I felt. I do not understand why he would ask such a question; even now, it still hurt, even if I had only believed it a dream. "Matsuri…" That had been so sad…because I had put so much faith into Gaara's teaching of her, only to have her fail miserably. I blink again, sleepily. "What were…pills?"

"They're nothing dangerous, if that's what your thinking." That was not what I was thinking actually, and by the tone of his voice, he knew that. "They're just heavy. When you wake up, you should feel better."

When I again blink, I do not reopen my eyes. They are much too weighted down for such a thing. "Crazy…mood swings…"

"_Gaara, you can not keep me here! What if you need me?" I stumbled down the stairs after my husband, my lover, my closest friend. I was hurt that he would try to exclude me from such a thing as this. It was the final stand against Orochimaru, and we were going to win, I was sure of it! _

"_You are still injured." He looked at me with an almost punishing glint in his eyes. "You are not supposed to leave our bed."_

"_But you might need me, Gaara! You need backup-"_

"_I do not need an injured man tagging along with me as a liability."_

_I stop, the color draining from my face and leaving me cold. He turned to look over his shoulder one last time, and I could read what he was truly saying by his eyes. He did not mean what he had just said, but fear drives even the most stoic people to do strange things._

"_Go back." He disappeared in a swirl of sand, leaving me alone where I stood in our welcoming room._

_For three minutes, I stood there, stretching my boundaries to see who was and who was not there. Gaara had left me entirely alone, a testimony by how serious this last battle would be. With no second thought, I shrugged into my jounin vest, ignoring my own flinch as I flung open our front door. I leaned down, untying the weights from around my ankles, and then I was no longer there. I ran in the way of the outer most borders of Suna, because I knew exactly where Gaara would be: the front lines._

* * *

DX I could do way better than that! But I like it… Well, you tell me what you think.


	6. How does he not remember?

He doesn't even remember…he doesn't even _know_. How the hell doesn't he remember? The nightmare I have been reliving for years has somehow escaped him. Is he plagued by our better memories together? Oh, if that is true, I envy him. I remember every time I nearly lost him due to his own foolishness; I remember Matsuri, my own student, selling Lee out to my enemy in her jealousy. I remember every time he would open his mouth to say something, and then would close it again, and always it would be something about what he thought was too unimportant to tell me, but was important to him. I remember every night he holds onto me in desperation because he couldn't always act as if he was alright. Every time he would walk into our home, a fake smile pasted on his face, and would immediately disappear for hours, I was the only one who knew what had happened to cause it.

Everyone had thought that Lee was as steady as a rock, ironically. I knew that was a lie, but I knew he tried to meet their expectations. If he remembers our wedding, the first murder attempted on him, would he remember the night I had to restrain him to the ground because he was fighting his true emotions. Does he remember how close I would hold him to me? Every time I managed to break the barrier between his determination and his pain? I do; I held him as close to me as I could, always remembering how no one ever held me. He rarely cried, and always tried to train his pain away, but he trusted me with the tears and dread that he never trusted even his beloved sensei with.

Does he remember them? He didn't act as if he remembered Kimimaro from our past, nor Gai. If he ever recognized Kakashi or any of our other teachers, or even Naruto, he has never let on. Am I all he remembers when he wakes up in the morning?

As he slips, falling fully onto the bed as the pill takes full affect, I open my arms so he comes to lie against me again. With some shifting and minimal sound, I move us back to where we had been laying before. He's right, I've been having crazy mood swings today; it's a fight between who I am and who I was. Who I am wishes to kill for the pain Lee is in, and had nearly won over with the fight yesterday against Kimimaro; only Kakashi's perfectly timed interference stopped me from fulfilling that part of myself. I won't be hearing from his family at any time, though, it was being considered 'self-defense'. Bullshit, I didn't need to defend myself, I was defending Lee, but I was stopped by saying so much by Kakashi…bloody bastard has a love for disrupting me. Who I am wants Lee to pay for doing what he had done to who I was. Who I am resides within me, right now, telling me to put Lee away from me. Who I was knew him, who I am knows that he's different. And I am me, trying to pull myself away from both viewpoints, and failing.

As it was, who I was won out when it came time to take Lee off of school grounds; albeit that took some convincing. Promptly, I had Lee in my bed, and had stared at him until he had begun to whimper. With who I was stronger than who I am, I had laid down on my bed, and had reached for him…only to have him instantly curl around me, one hand tangling into the fabric of my shirt as he tried to push his head into my abdomen. Sometime after that, I must have fallen asleep, and then woken back up nearly three hours later. What a rude awakening…for a moment, I had been caught in the past… The good part of it.

_At first, I ignored the feeling of having someone staring at me; after nearly a half an hour, I finally snapped my eyes open to catch the other still looking down at me. _

"_What?" The other shook his head slowly, and then giggled._

"_I am admiring your youthful energy flowing in the dark of night!"_

"_The sun came up two hours ago."_

"_Yes, but no light has filtered into the room. Therefore, it is still night here in our own little world!" Had I had eyebrows, they would have shot up._

"_Our own little world?"_

_The raven-haired man nodded vigorously, a large smile on his face as he stared proudly down at me. "Yosh! It is our own little world of love and laughter and our most joyful memories!"_

"…_Including sex?" His face became red as a cherry as he looked down at me with an offended look. I took that as a yes. "What do we do, now that we're in…our little word."_

"_Ah!" Lee exclaimed, abruptly over his shyness. "It is our own little world, not our little world! We must be very specific when speaking about such a delicate place…"_

"_And what do we do in our 'own' little world?"_

"… _I do not know…" Lee looked thoughtfully to the bed, tapping one finger against his chin as he 'hmmmed'. Following his gaze, I had an idea of what we could do._

"_Is the door locked?" The other looked to me in question, before distractedly nodding his head, going back to thinking. "Are the windows sealed?" The raven-haired man smiled, sticking a thumb into my face as his eyes lit with pride._

"_Yosh! I have taken time to deal with every tiny detail so that we may not be disturbed for a full day! As long as no emergencies occur, we shall not even be called upon by the outside world."_

_I nod again. "Good." I open my arms, and, instantly, he is curling into my chest, an almost purr escaping him. _

"_I reserved a entire day for us…and of all the thousands of youthful things I wanted to do with you, I can not think of a single one I wish to do now that we have the time…"_

"_Perfect." _

_Lee looks up to me now, eyes questioning. Instead of answering, I pull him closer. Closing my eyes again, I concentrate on him and only him, drinking him in. I am the kage, and he is the shinobi. One day, we will both die, and it won't be of illness or old age. Lee could never die that way, he would be unwilling to die in such a way. So, I do what I wish to do, and lie there. An hour later of puzzled silence, Lee catches on. He curls his hand loosely and rests it against my abdomen and softly chuckles._

"_You are a genius, Gaara. I could not have thought of something better to do if I had spent hours upon days thinking about it."_

Sighing, I close my eyes again, wondering if I could recapture the dream. It is the only good dream I have had since first dreaming of Lee's death. So…in three years, every dream I have had have been a repeat of his death, the miserable years I lived after that, my first childhood, and every tear he has ever shed that were not in happiness.

Who I am battles with who I was in what I should do next. Who I am wants to wake him up and shove him out my front door, who I was only wants to make love to him… Lately, all I seem to be able to think of is sex, and that only pisses off who I am more. As me, I just pull him closer, my eyes tingling from lack of sleep. I close them, sigh one last time, and then drift into oblivion. The last thing I hear is my whispered name.

"_Gaara…"_

* * *

I almost thought I killed this story with my last chapter! But, luckily, I have saved it! Or so I think, and as author, that is what is important. The only thing that bothers me is the emo I turned Lee into in the first few paragraphs… but you have to think about it to. Lee only cried once in misery…or so I saw. If you like, than please do tell.


	7. Let this Nightmare Fade

_Lee (first person) having a memory_

**Gaara (first person) in present**

* * *

_I arrived at the conveniently placed clearing, looking down to the mayhem. Seeing what was happening, my heart stopped beating for a moment and went cold. Gaara was being beaten; as unbelievable as it was, he was being defeated. There were too many water jutsus attacking him from too many places for him to rise victorious from this. A cold sweat gathered on my skin; why was he alone!? Where was his backup, where was his protection? _

_I begin running as fast as I could possibly go, managing to hit the ground as the same time one of the enemy washed a wave of sand down into a puddle. With a 'crack!', he was dead, his neck turned at a gruesome angle after having connected with my fist. _

"_Lee!" I turn to him: my lover, my husband, my companion…my everything. His eyes are boiling with rage, lip turned up in a snarl. "Get the hell out of here!" I shake my head shortly._

"_Not until you leave with me!" Sand, formed loosely into a whip, ripped right through another enemy that had been approaching me from the side. I do not flinch, even as his blood splatters across me._

_His eyes glare at me for a few seconds longer, so absolutely furious with me. Several more of the opposing team fall to their deaths, whether by my attack or Gaara's, I do not take notice. Whether my skin connects with flesh, or his sand devours another man, I do not care. I am not leaving without him! He can not hold my gaze any longer, forced to turn around and face the attacks head on. Over his shoulder, he growls at me._

"_Don't get killed! I can't save your ass." I laugh out loud, even as a man who could not have been any older than 23 falls to the ground after having had my foot crack his skull open._

"_Yosh!" Two more collapse under my determined attacks; already, I feel the fire and soreness raging over my entire body. Lady Tsunade may have been right: I may not be read to fight again… Either way, I still find the time to give Gaara the 'Good Guy Pose'. "Shall I die here, today, I shall find you again in another life and do as you command for the same numbers of years as you live after my death!" _

_With that, the number of casualties increases from a small number of 13, to something uncountable. As soon as one fell, three more seemed to show out of nowhere; when I saw an end coming, it felt as if I were already dying. My lungs were squeezing together so tightly, my vision was graying. My reaction time was slowing from incredibly fast, to almost stalling. Behind me, always at my back, there is the swishing sound of water mixing with my lover's sand. As hard as I try to stop them from forming the hand signs, I can not catch them all. Both of us may not make it out of here…but that does not bother me as much as it had when I had forced entered this battle. _

_At one point, I am pressing my back against his, a small retreat as my legs tremble beneath me and my arms are so strained, I can not even feel them. I am covered in blood, whether my own or theirs, I can not tell anymore. I do know my blood is somewhere within the mix of, though, I can feel it. As soon as I touch him, I am spun around, his hand clenching onto my shoulder and crashing my chest into his chest. Before I could utter a sound, he crashes our lips together, and we pant into each other, sharing the scent of death and blood and sweat. Hardly long enough, too short afterward, he shoves me away from him, again making the hand sign for the 'Sabaku Kyuu' that kills another person. It is terrifying, because he kissed me with desperation; he does not think we will leave this war alive._

_With my resolve to prove him wrong, I begin moving out of the protection of his sand, needing to help, to give Gaara rest as well. _

_When the end comes, I nearly get down on my knees and cry. We will live another day; another day to love one another, another day to hold onto each other. It will be another day to prove my love for him… _

_Out of the corner of my eye, I witness something horrifying; he is breaking through. Another enemy that we had not seen, and he is swamping the last of Gaara's sand, leaving his back defenseless. I was too far away, I could never get there to save him in time! But, I conclude as I shoot to my feet and dash across the distance separating us, I could save him…at a price._

_As I stand before the man, my hand shoved into his chest, his long blade shoved into my own, I smile as he wheezes and falls down on my wrist, dragging me with him. His blade, cutting entirely through my heart, stops my breathing and makes me wheeze as well; but I have stronger determination than any man, so I hold on to the last of my life. Coughing blood onto the ground beneath me, I continue to slip onto the ground, the blade being shoved further through my body as the handle pushes against my flesh. _

"_Lee? Lee!" I am ripped backwards, hands holding me up as the handle of the blade is gripped and pulled harshly. I wheeze again, blood pouring over my chin and onto my jounin vest. Surprisingly, there is no pain. Just a breathlessness, and it almost feels surreal. "Lee, if you don't hold on until help arrives, I swear I will hunt you down wherever you are going, and kill you myself."_

_Somehow, around the blood, I chuckle. It seems I will be either the slave or the victim of Sabaku no Gaara in my next life. I cough out as much blood as I possibly could, Gaara tilting me forward so that I would not choke on the thick liquid. When I find enough space to do so, I speak to him. He needs to know…one last time._

"_I will love you for always, G-Gaara… but, you have to live…without me…" More blood continues on it's path out of my mouth and down my chin to slither down my neck. I smile, sad that this would be my last day, I can not even focus on his face anymore… "I will…be with you…again…" I will, of course, have to keep my promise as well… but there is so much blood, and so much darkness, all I can do is smile, and wish that I could still see him through the fog. _

_At the same time I hear my shredded heart stop, I hear a scream that will forever echo through me, even in my death…_

"**Lee, wake up." I shake him again, and then curse under my breath as he continues to silently cry in his sleep. "Damn it!" I sit up, allowing him to slip off my chest and onto my bed as I straddle his hips. I grip one of his shoulders and pull back the other hand.**

'**Slap!' With a start, he wakes up, eyes large and pain filled as he throws his head frantically from side to side, blindly looking for something I'm sure isn't there. **

**His hands curl around the wrist of my hand holding onto his shoulder, gripping tightly, before he even notices me. For long seconds, he stares up at me, blinking occasionally as if he can hardly believe something that is happening. Without warning, his other hand seizes me by the back of my neck and pulls me down to him; before I can growl at him, my mouth is obstructed…by his mouth.**

**Now I am the one to stare, looking down upon his tear-stained cheeks and tightly shut eyes. His mouth shoves insistently at mine, a reminder of how virginal he had been when we had first became so innocently intimate…he had no idea what he was doing. Before I can stop myself, or find the will to wish to stop him, I open my mouth and nip at his bottom lip, knowing how much he had liked it before; guessing by the sound of his whimper, he still does. He holds me to him, tangling both of his hands into my hair and arching his body into mine. I can hardly fight myself, if that also includes fighting him as well. As I run my tongue inside of his wet cavern, exploring what was once my territory, and was now again mine, I keep my eyes open, needing to see this through. I taste the salt of his tears, the mint of his scent, and the spice that characterized him. We fight for dominance, teeth snapping against the others, tongues wrapping together and sliding against each other, body moving to find the most contact. **

**When air is so pressing, there is nothing we can do but break apart to breathe, the distance we move from each other is hardly any larger than the tip of needle, gasping air in and out back into the other. He opens his eyes again, and they are determined. He wraps his legs around my waist, pulling us as close together as possible. I hiss as our erections rub against each other. Insistently, he tugs at my hair, moving so that his mouth is next to my ear.**

"**I keep my promises…in this life as well as the last." He pulls back to look into my eyes, his own solid and nearly aflame. He slants his face toward my own, and runs his tongue from my chin to my ear. "And there is one promise I did not fulfill, Gaara…"**

**I curve my upper body up to better look down at him. In his eyes; that fire burns, and so does angst and fear. He finally met the end of his last life; it is there in how he grips so tightly, so desperately, yet so solidly to me. To my agitation, though, I have no idea what he's talking about. My glare must have said as much, because he smiles the slightest bit.**

"**I promised you…that if I died in that battle… I would be your slave."**

**And my heart stopped, right before it began to pump too much blood to where it does not need to go. I feel my mind haze over as he looks so innocently, somehow wickedly at the same time, with his smile growing somewhat.**

"**Well, Gaara?" He touched lips to mine, my own body fazed by his words to advance upon him. "What do you want me to do?"**

* * *

On a vote, who wants smex or fluff? I can't decide...**  
**


	8. And may this dream come true

'_Well, Gaara, what do you want me to do?' _

I stare down into his eyes: misty from his tears, determined by his nightmare, loving by his own nature. Hands drift down my chest, going lower until they reach the hemline and then pull the black material up. Around my waist, he began to rub his legs against me, pushing and pulling us together and apart until we're grinding against each other. Never, not once, does he look away.

'_Well, Gaara, what do you want me to do?'_

I clench one hand into the pillow his head rests on, and then I lower my mouth to his neck and suckle on it, marking him, again, as mine. Two different lifetimes, two different lives, and he is still mine.

"_Gaara?"_

"_Lee."_

"… _Are you…nervous?" A nonexistent rise of the eyebrows and a dry expression answers his question. Lee looks back to the wall, face flushed red as he grips onto the blankets upon our bed. "R-right…" _

"I want you to…" He looks to me now with need, not only in lust, but for an answer. He's desperate to know how he can make up for dying on me. That will never happen, not anything he could ever do could make up for that; but he's hoping anyway. I can tell because his hands are trembling against my body and his mouth is wobbling as if he is whispering something beneath his breath. Keeping my one hand in the pillow next to his face, I droop my head low so I can feel the slightest pressure of his lips against my own.

_I eye him curiously, my hands holding his hips in place as I nibble on the sensitive skin to be found on his inner thigh. With each motion of my teeth and lips, he shudders, interesting sounds escaping his throat as he clenches and unclenches his fists in the sheets. "Is there a reason why I should be nervous?" He looks down to me, eyes wide and mouth gaping open and close. When I become impatient, I bite down on the flesh I am holding, making him yelp as he tosses his head back. When he looks back to me, panting and trying to reach me with his hands, he stares at me with cautious and lustful eyes._

"_This is new…for both of us." I almost feel the humor of the situation. Since when has he feared the unknown?  
_

There is a stretch of time where I say no more, just feeling him beneath my hands again and staring into his obsidian eyes as he feels me too. Every hiss he draws from me, I drag a whimper or moan out of him. Our bodies are the only virgins here, Lee and I know very well how this goes.

_I clench my teeth, an amazing pressure tightening around my member as I push slowly into him. I have one hand holding onto his ass, keeping me on course, and the other is petting his hair, a human instinct of comfort I did not even know I possessed. He bites his lip, gripping my shoulders in a tight grip, luckily not with any true strength behind it. The signs of discomfort he shows disturb me; he has been through many different forms of torture and pain; if this one entrance causes him so much unease, than it must truly be painful. I begin to pull out, I have remained celibate up until now, as long as I don't ever hurt him, I can remain that way._

"Gaara, please! What do you want me to do?" He begs, one of his hands traveling between us and grabbing my own that holds me above him. For a brief moment, I support myself on the hand that had been caressing his abdomen so I can position my other one differently, and then my fingers are entwined with his, my right and his left hand exploring the others body.

"_No!" He grabs me and pulls me against him, wrapping both legs around my waist so I can not escape him. The incredible heat and sensation of having him partially around me causes me to buck forward, inching that much more into him. There is a second where he is tense, tension running through him as he continues to try and adapt to the foreign intrusion._

"_I won't hurt you." I state, looking into his determined black orbs._

"_But you will not, Gaara! I know you do not mean too." He wiggles slightly, a grimace coming over his face, and then was gone in a flash. "I must get used to it, that is all!"_

_Panting, I attempt to leave the circle of his legs. "By the time you experience that pleasure, I won't have enough control left to make sure you experience it equal to my own." Lee blinked in surprise, and then began to slowly smile._

"_Am I bringing you that much pleasure, Gaara, that you can not control yourself?" _

He doesn't belong on red sheets, I conclude as I stare down at the resolved innocence of his eyes and then the dark blood color of the pillows beneath him. Already naked, our clothes having been shed in haste, I don't like him on the color at all. I close my eyes for a moment, attempting to rid myself of the sight of his blood spreading. Reopening my eyes, it's all I can see: Lee's life draining into the ground, his eyes glazing over in death as his usually heated body became cold as the desert's night chill. I seal them again, tightly, and then I flip us so he is above me, looking down upon me in bemusement.

"Ride me." He blinks in surprise, a red blush spreading, then he shyly touches his fingers to his own mouth. I snarl at him, grabbing his wrist. "No." His eyes shoot to mine, confused, and I replace his fingers with mine. "I will make sure that you're ready." His blush intensifies, but he willingly opens his mouth and takes my digits in where he sucks on them gently and harshly, bathes them with his tongue and moans around them.

_I growl, despising how quickly I was losing my mental and physical restraints. My hips twitched subtly forward, overwhelmed by how it felt to be in another, and then gave a less subtle push that put another two inches of my member into his hard body. When he gasped, a tone of pleasure, I gave another experimental push forward, watching his eyes as they closed and he threw his head back._

"_Gaara, more!"_

"_Are you ready?" I had to ask, because I didn't want him to hurt at all. He whined, and then shoved onto my hips. I hissed, eyes rolling back into my skull for a second as I felt my entire length engulfed into him. It felt as if I were on fire, but there wasn't any pain; only a threatening feeling, as if, if I didn't move, he might just swallow me whole._

"_More than ready, love."_

I remove my fingers, leaning up and supporting myself on my elbows so I can try to devour him again. He advances upon my kiss, touching his tongue to my lips, and then storming in to tangle again with my own tongue. As the battle rages, I trail my soaked fingers from his hip, around to the small of his back, and then down to the crease of his ass. Prodding, I searched for his entrance, and then slowly drove one finger into it, massaging the muscles I broke through in an attempt to relax them. Against my lips, Lee grits his teeth, and I press my forehead to his in comfort.

"It's going to be okay." I whisper against his lips, feeling his skin with every breath I made. Against my own lips, I feel him smile, my eyes too connected into his eyes to see it, though.

"I know…" Panting, he brushes a kiss upon my cheek before tucking his head beneath my chin, gripping onto my shoulders as he shudderend and tensed. "I know that you are going to make it as good for me as you possibly can…"

_I start out slow, testing his endurance at first. Every little movement forward, and I only want to slam fully within. I want to give into this aggression, this wildness that has risen within me. Despite his tightness, the heat, the absolute excitement of the experience, only flashes of pleasure dart up my spine. This could hardly be what lovers come together for. Maybe my senses are deadened; Lee is most certainly enjoying this. He begins sobbing, and I assume he is close. At the last moment, he grabs onto my one wrist holding me above him, his eyes staring directly into mine. Right as I feel his muscles contract around me, he smiles around his own release._

"_Gaara!" He screams, his whole body arching beneath me as he tangles his fingers with my own. This is the moment of the most pleasure I have ever experienced, feeling as if he is about to successfully devour me as he squeezes my member tightly. "Let go!" He screams again, looking blindly into my eyes, a sob breaking from his lips. I haven't stopped moving, trying to find that completion that he has found. "Release yourself!"_

_That is what I'm trying to do; trying to find my own release. Uncomprehending, I continue on at my shallow pace, confident that if I can continue to have Lee squeeze around me as such and always stare up at me with such lust and desperation I will also have an orgasm. He shakes his head wildly from side to side._

"_Gaara!" He shoves back upon me, and I can feel the quivering flesh of his legs as he turns my own pace into something harsh and… fulfilling. Those flashes of pleasure become something striking and aflame. Suddenly, I understand. He wasn't talking about finishing with him, he wants me to lose control…_

After I am done stretching him with the third finger, I remove them, trailing the fingers across his skin as I switch my gaze down to stare at the wet path I leave behind. He begins to crawl backwards, moving down my body. I quickly figure out what he wants to do, his tongue darting out to wipe at his lips as he stares down at my cock. I grab him, pulling back upon me, and holding him there with a savage growl. I don't think I can keep my erection if I saw him with the background of my bed sheets. They… don't need to be part of the picture right now. I'm going to have to change the color scheme of my room if I keep having this aversion to seeing lee with anything that looked like blood…

I rub my still soaked fingers up and down my own shaft, causing me to pump once into my own hand, before I hold it up, pointed towards Lee's entrance. I lick my lips, shuddering at the sight of our bodies about to be joined; my own cock ready to enter him, his is weeping and looking dejected.

"Lee…" He swivels his head back towards me, eyes wide and his breath puffing in and out. He grips with sharp nails onto my abdomen, legs spread apart for my entrance. As my tip touches against the ring of virgin muscles guarding him, I growl, unable to stop myself from bucking up slightly. The very tip passes through, followed by part of the head, Lee gasps, throwing his head back. I shove my head back into my pillows. "touch yourself, Lee. I want to see you touch yourself."

He whimpers, the head of my dick forcing it's way into him, finally, and I pause. I wait for, both his discomfort to dissipate, and for him to follow my order. Haltingly, he places his own hand to his member, beginning to rub the head of his erection shyly, spreading the white liquid there. I watched with adamant attention, breathing harshly through clenched teeth as I watched him pleasure himself.

"_Is this what you want?" I ask him as he thrashes about, thrusting against me with no specific tempo. _

"_Yes! G-Gaara, yes!" I do not repeat my question after that, I merely lean backwards so I'm no longer supported on my arms, and then grab each of his thighs. I pull them as far apart as I can, and then began to shove with all of my strength, the pleasure that had been flashes becoming a full-out flame throughout my entire body. Beneath me, he screams. "G-Gaara! I love you, love you, love… OH, Love you!"_

As he distracts himself, I continue to push forward, slowly destroying myself as I change him from love to lover once again. By the time he was seated fully upon me, he was nothing but a lusting, thrashing creature. I grab the wrist of the hands pumping himself, and then thrust myself further up into him.

"Ride me."

_My movement becomes irregular, my body shuddering and sweating as I am dragged up into some sort of an ethereal high. Gasping, I collapse against his chest, one arm tiredly wrapping around his shoulders as he attempts to regain normalcy as well. My limp member, despite my order to remain, to retain that feeling of completion, slips out of him, plopping back into it's usual deflated appearance. _

_After only seconds, Lee wrapped his arms around my neck, curling himself until he had his head tucked beneath my chin. Noise like purrs began to escape him as he nuzzled my collar bone. Slipping off of him, he kept his tight hold, pushing into my side with a contented sigh._

"_Gaara?"_

"_Lee."_

"_I am in love with you." I blink, and then brush a kiss into his ruffled black hair. I know that, but I don't think I know how to say it back. Love… is a deceiving emotion. I hear him chuckle slightly. "Gaara? I am willing to die for you to prove that I love you." He removes his head from my chest to look into my eyes. Lazily, surprising enough as it seems, he performs the 'Good Guy Pose', by only pointing one thumb towards the ceiling. "If I must wait lifetimes to hear you say it, Gaara, than I shall! Only know, that one day, I shall get you to admit aloud your love for me! Or I shall forever keep trying to get you to admit to your love!"_

_I merely stare down at him, impassively startled by his oblivious innocence. I could have sworn I had already claimed my love for him… Maybe… Most love is not proven by killing a man meaning harm to that lover? Such as I had done with the bone wielder… _

_He falls asleep, hands tucked beneath his chin, his head again under my own. One arm is casually wrapped around his body, the green comforter upon the bed thrown carelessly across our hips for discreteness. As a Kazekage, I am always on stolen time; I don't want to have another person to set eyes upon my now-lover. I drag one hand through his hair, drifting the other till it rests over his heart._

"_Lee… I already love you.." I sealed my eyes shut, feeling the not-yet-comfortable darkness signaling sleep coming over me. "But if I tell you… You won't have any more reason to remain with me. So, I will show you…" _

"Gaara?" Lee lies against my chest, one leg over mine, one arm carelessly tossed over my side, his head resting right above me heart. His breathing is slow, already somewhere between being awake and sleeping. I pause a moment in my stroking of his hair to signal that I'm listening, and then I continue playing with the rave-black locks. "What do you think your heart is saying?" The last two words were slurred, Lee's lax body covered in marks of my possession of him. I close my eyes in thought, and know before I even open them again that he is already asleep. Regardless, I answer the question.

"It's saying 'I Live For Lee'… I snort at that; that is so amazingly corny. But I've listened to my own heartbeat before, and I can swear that that is exactly what it's saying.

_In the morning, Lee is leaning over me, smiling brightly. I blink, and then turn over, trying to regain the most peaceful rest I have had since my supposed death. "Gaara!" lee complains. I sigh in regret, and then turn back to him. Upon having my attention, he smiled brightly, his body still void of clothing as he kneels over me. I can hardly stop myself from looking him over; he is mine now, I can do as I wish. "Gaara! I have discovered what my heart has been saying my entire life!"_

_I considered it for a moment, and then looked into his eyes. "Lub Dub?" He pouts down at me, a feeling of having been mocked rising from him. Clearly, I answered it wrong. As quickly as the depression had set in, it disappears, and Lee kisses me deeply. With no quarrel, I lean up into it, suddenly uncaring of my unwelcome awakening. _

_He breaks away from me, a small blush on his face as he smiles widely again. "It is saying 'Gaara's'! Even my heart knew that you would be my most special person, is that not wonderful?"_

_I stare up into his eyes, curious as to why that pink blob had been so careless in her care of this boy. Apparently, she had never known what she was passing up. Instead of answering, I turn away again, followed by Lee's whine to get up. And, secretly, I calculate the chances of whether or not I can get away with missing my meeting today. I don't want to ever leave him behind…_

_I hope he's right; if I only get one lifetime with him, I'm going to be pissed, and someone's going to get Sabaku Kyuu'd._


End file.
